Feed Me Haxball

Share your tips & stories of how you keep your backdoor silky smooth and hair free!

hey guys, lately my hair has been growing in all different places of my body. i don't know what to do, could any1 please give me tips about how to get rid of it?

I buy all natural wax, It keeps me rash free and silky smooth :)

If you're to get the bum smooth with a good clean shave, you'll need to use the proper shaving equipment.

New premium razor blade

Pre-shave oil (Jojoba oil)

Shaving cream: Unscented is the best bet to help avoid irritation

Razor Bump Treatment (Tend Skin) plus cotton application pads

Talcum powder

Exfoliating Cloth

Have a towel and bowl of cold water ready at your side to rinse the razor.

Premium Razor Blade

Using a premium razor will give you a safe and better shave. Less expensive razors are likely to cause razor burn and sorely snag on hairs. A popular choice of razor among men is, the Schick Quattro Titanium razor blades; they're specially designed to minimize razor burn.

Pre-Shave Oil

Use Jojoba oil, it allows the razor to glide easily across the skin while minimizing razor burn. Its also nourishes the skin so it doesn't feel greasy.

Shaving Cream

Particular creams are more emollient and lather better than others. Good choices are Lab Series Maximum Comfort Shave Cream, or The Art of Shaving. Both creams are non fragranced - better for sensitive skin.

Razor Bump

Be prepared for razor bumps. An effective treatment for this is a product called Tend Skin. It helps reduce razor bumps, razor burn, pimples, boils and ingrown hairs. It may sting but this wont last long.

Talcum Powder

Talcum powder is a good anti-chaffing solution. Use baby powder, if it's good enough for baby's bottom, then its good enough for yours.

Exfoliate

Exfoliating loosens dead skin cells and lessons the risk of ingrown hairs and pimples that often happen as a result of shaving.

Now for the part you've been waiting for - Shaving your bum, butt, bottom, buttocks, or, can I say arse?.

Warning: A steady hand and concentration will make this not only a smooth shave, but a problem free one too. Bear in mind if you are heading for the crack, make sure its thoroughly clean...need I say more. Safety: Consider an expert do the waxing for you because it's a complicated place to bring a razor too.

How to shave

Wash before shaving

Rub a couple of drops of pre-shave oil to the buttocks, followed by shaving cream.

Wet the razor blade with cold water and start shaving in the same direction of hair growth.

Don't press the razor against the skin, let the razor do the lifting.

Avoid shaving against the grain as it encourages irritation and possibly ingrown hairs.

Rinse the blade often; this helps with swelling and redness

A mirror is a must. Making assumptions at this time can have serious consequences.

Once the shave is over, rinse the skin and dry thoroughly, don't rub. Pat the skin as it will be tender.

Now treat the hair free area with razor burn treatment to lessen irritation and speed up healing.

Talc the bum to soften the skin and keep it dry.

isn't it slightly gay to talk about your bums to other guys? also what the reaction be if i were to ask my barber to shave my backside for me?

Girgensons wrote:http://forum.ebaumsworld.com/showthread.php?85555-Before-shaving-your-ass-hair-READ-THIS

Complete rip off of a craigslist classic.

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/35274458.html

opc wrote:

Girgensons wrote:http://forum.ebaumsworld.com/showthread.php?85555-Before-shaving-your-ass-hair-READ-THIS

Complete rip off of a craigslist classic.

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/35274458.html

It's not a rip-off, it's the exact same story. I read it ages ago how dafuq am I supposed to remember where I read first it you naab?

lets all fight!

Girgensons wrote:

opc wrote:

Girgensons wrote:http://forum.ebaumsworld.com/showthread.php?85555-Before-shaving-your-ass-hair-READ-THIS

Complete rip off of a craigslist classic.

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/35274458.html

It's not a rip-off, it's the exact same story. I read it ages ago how dafuq am I supposed to remember where I read first it you naab?

Yes, it's the exact same story with different wording. That's a rip off...

#fapibumgod

and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil.


sounds like something lek would write (obv not about bum hair though)

Got some hair removel gel so thought I would type up my story.


After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly Rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly successful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits. Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit if a treat. I ordered it well in advance and working in the North Sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...Oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was. I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn' have have long to wait.

At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head. Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the the destruction of the meat and two veg. Struggling not to bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel off in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair. Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen, by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief. I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, toe the lid off and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing returned.

Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn'nt managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the draw for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon. I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so. I took a handful of them and an tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse. This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found its way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running its engines behind me. This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain. The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before.

Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering arhhh ooooohhh that feels good ahhh Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn'nt heard her come in it caused an involuntary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction. I can understand that having a sprout fired against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasent the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn't improve my status so to sum it up, VEET removes hair, dignity and self-respect.

great read that ^ :D

a bit weird tho mate

I LIKE ASSES!

me mummis gna braid mine

Anymore tips lads?